yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
