Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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