that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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