It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
