i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
it was like eating out sand paper
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
50% drunk capacity currently
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
