I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize