I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Randomize
