i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize