go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
ok first of all what the fuck
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
