Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
