don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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