I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We are two peas in an std pod
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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