those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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