When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
