do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
