I am full of burrito and curiosity
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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