glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
