the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
