found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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