We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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