He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize