booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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