Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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