Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
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We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
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Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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