I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
