He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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