you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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