Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
