i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize