the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
