I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
