What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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