you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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