She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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