How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
