We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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