I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
