He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
