Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Two words: blizzard sex
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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