You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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