My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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