I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
