i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have feelings that need drinking.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
