when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize