I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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