i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
