If i come over, it means nothing
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
being pregnant is like rehab
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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