Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
this hospital has no fireball
I have tasted many bathrooms
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
