PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
