Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
