He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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