Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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