Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
