What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize