Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
